When Your Partner Doesn't Understand You

communication relationships

Do you have the experience of not being understood by your partner? 

We can all relate to these moments. Either in passing, without awareness that our partner doesn’t understand us. Or through continued invalidation of our experience.

What do you do in those moments when you partner doesn’t understand you?

I received this question:

“My partner jumps to conclusions and assumes the worst and I feel the need to defend my actions. So I follow them and try to explain what happened, but they ignore what I’m saying. I try to explain but they aren’t interested in seeing my perspective. What are some ways to preserve my own energy and marital peace?”



Here are some strategies to explore.

  • Validating your partner
  • Learn to trust your own perception
  • Finding time to address the situation when you are not overwhelmed or stressed
  • Reminding us and our partners to speak with kindness and respect
  • Get curious about your partner



Dr. Tracy


Remember, the information on this site is for information purposes only and does not substitute the care from a licensed mental healthcare provider.