This is your reminder. 

These type of bumps along the road are normal and part of the process. You chose this challenge because you wanted something to be different. Relationships are hard and they take work. It is likely nobody taught you how to communicate in these hard moments. The path back to each other is fraught with frustration, discomfort, and old wounds as you work through these changes to build a foundation that will last - keep going, you are doing the hard work. 

Discomfort isn't a bad thing, it means you are doing something important. Keep in mind conflict can be a doorway to better understanding each others needs, even if it doesn't feel like it at the time. 

If your partner is not participating, remember by you showing up and continuing to do this work can be powerful. Each step you take, you are planting the seeds of growth over time. Based on my years of clinical work with couples, we see the unwilling partner start to shift when they see their partner doing the work. 

What else can I do?

Sometimes you might need additional support and resources to work through a specific or more challenging set of circumstances. Check out these resources that I use with my clients in my therapy room every single day - all of them derived from evidence based research.

• Understand your attachment style - use my Feel Secure: Understand Your Attachment Style mini-course to understand the nuances of your style and cycle so you can get back on track. Get started here.
• Learn to repair after a fight - use the video and guide from my After the Fight: How to Repair workshop to understand what gets in the way of repairing, the 4A's to repair, and even what to do if they don't want to repair. Get this resource for just $27.
• Join Be Connected - use my relationship support program to get access to monthly coaching calls where we dig into what is happening for you and how you can move through these tricky seasons in your relationship. Join Be Connected here starting at under $20 per month.
• Get 1:1 Coaching - use my coaching service for a highly customized and intimate plan without the long wait times.  Spaces are very limited and you can book a session here.

"Here's what I know..."

Each step you take, you are planting the seeds of growth over time. Based on my years of clinical work with couples, we often the the hesitant or unwilling partner start to shift when they understand and see their partner doing the work. Continue to show up with curiosity and compassion, and I know the changes you desire are possible. Remember growth ebbs and flows with the season you are in. Stay the course, I'm cheering you on.