Are we wired to fix our loved ones? It might feel that way when you notice discomfort showing up when your kids or your partner are experiencing something unpleasant.
It’s easy to get caught up in finding the solution, but could we be missing their feelings and leaving them feeling invalidated?
In this episode, I sit down with Michelle Kenney from Peace and Parenting, to talk about repair, the urge to fix our loved ones, and what we can do instead when these feelings show up in our partnerships and parenting.
Michelle is a mother of two girls, as well as a former teacher and counsellor turned Certified Parenting Instructor. After years of consequences, bribes and star charts, she finally reshaped the relationship she shares with her daughters and credits peaceful parenting for changing her life. Michelle considers herself a recovering yeller, perfectionist and control freak who has found a more calm and connected way to parent. Using the ideas of Brain Science as her guide and working on childhood hurts as her deeper work, she helps other parents do what she has been able to do for herself over the last decade.
In this episode, we discuss:
- Fixing in our relationships [03:00]
- The desire for our partners to parent as we do [05:45]
- Our inability to separate other people’s suffering from our own [06:15]
- The contrast between how we consciously parent our children and how we treat our partners [07:00]
- Helping our partners parent vs telling them what to do [11:45]
- Seeing our younger self is our child’s reaction [19:30]
- Apologies without saying “I’m sorry” [22:30]
- Why we push pain away [27:30]
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Peace and Parenting Website
Peace and Parenting YouTube Channel
Peace and Parenting Podcast
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"Such a fantastic compilation of well curated interviews and ideas to support relationships! You will walk away with concrete ideas and big shifts to help your marriage. The podcast beautifully compliments her membership for anyone living in a pandemic and also married." - Drsfe
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About the Show
I'm Not Your Shrink is a podcast aimed at helping you feel connected to yourself, to others, and to live a life aligned with what matters most to you. I bring you clinical knowledge and evidence based research, along with experiences of sitting in the therapist chair along with being a wife and mother. I'm joined by subject matter experts to talk about everyday issues we all face to change the dialogue in your life.